Connecting with the Hidden Feline
The mysteriousness of cats for many people is the way they choose to not venture forth into contact with us when we walk in the door. They experience so much in the form of vibration. We as a species tend to walk in fast, purposeful ways with heavy steps which depending on the history of this four-legged gentle being can be quite threatening and overwhelming. They often will climb high to get out of the fray and to have clear sight as to what comes toward them – or go to somewhere dark and hidden. For many it is the source of the sound, vibration, or fast movement that is unexpected or unknown. Not all cats are fearful of our actions, some see it as a game to lay in wait ready to pounce upon a leg or foot to surprise us!
There are some that can be described to put it in human terms like a reserved introvert only coming out with their known people they feel most at ease. There are cats that are extreme extroverts that want to be part of whatever party or gathering you are having – and expect a seat amongst the guests. Then there are the ones that are vacillate between the two main characteristics. I have learned that for the introverted felines they need time in observing from their safe space the actions and movements of new people.
When I am visiting one of them, it is teaching by my actions, the sound of my voice, and the emotional vibration of what I am walking in with that provides them with some key information as to who I am. It is me verbalizing and showing that I will be there for the time allotment regardless of whether they are seen initially or not. This begins forming the layers of building trust. Every once and awhile, it is during these early phases that I may look up to find that they have come forward, but any additional movement on my part or even speaking sends them flying back to safety. This process is a dance of sorts of us both learning how much is enough and/or too much. Yes, this harmonized connection will shift over time as trust is deepened.
This can be helped along by additional visits with them and their trusted people in between actual vacation visits as it allows them to be reintroduced to my scent, energy, and vibration in the safety of their person. A huge part of the progress with this type of feline is the acceptance and allowance of who they are from the start of the relationship throughout our journey together along with them learning that love and respect is offered to them whether seen or not.
During my years as a pet companion, I have met many that were on some level an introvert or preferred their solo space to being out initially. For the most part, it wasn’t the youngsters. I met two eight-year-old brothers, two eight-year-old sisters, a solo senior kid, and even several feral kids which adds to the amount of time and level of patience needed for them to trust the love, respect, and acceptance they are receiving. To understand that I am not requiring anything in return is often an unknown concept or experience to them. Within both sibling families, one visited with me in advance of the other which was surprising as both parents shared with me to not be shocked if I didn’t see them as no one had previously.
In the case of the sisters, the second more fearful of the two allowed herself to be seen on the last day of an eight-day vacation assignment. When she ran past me, I spoke softly saying she didn’t have to hide that all connection was done on her terms…if she wanted to connect, she could come over to do so. As she sat in the doorway about ten feet away, she watched me gauging whether she thought it safe. With ten minutes remaining in our visit, she came over to talk and connect with me. From that moment on, she was the first to join me during each subsequent vacation assignment always meeting me at the door as I walked in.
With the senior boy, he enjoyed hanging out in one of two main rooms I was told during the meet and greet. During the home tour, we met in one of his places – and I told him it was okay if he wanted to stay in the room during my visits, but that I would also love to connect with him with the rest of his siblings if he was open to it. With that I returned to the kitchen and shortly after he appeared to connect which he would continue to do any time I arrived to pick up a key or for visits. He walked me to the door at the conclusion of each visit before returning to his room of choice.
One of the main reasons I do longer visits is to give all pets the time they need to acclimate to someone new in their environment, to feel safe and connect in the way they prefer. Slowly in their own time, open for deeper trust, acceptance, and love. We teach others every day by example. Animals just like people learn through our actions, words, values, and ways of being. When we open the door to allow them to step through to connect in their own accord, trust is built in a whole different manner.
