Arrival of the Youngsters!
Just in the last six weeks, I have met three kittens. In observing the three, all are fighters striving to reach new heights. They all are working to keep up with their siblings on one level and make their own path on the other.
One was big into figuring out how things worked and was always investigating, exploring, and showing the people how to play. The second is a quiet and inquisitive kid that loves to play finding absolutely everything and everyone to be fun and/or climbable!
For the third, food is the priority as she is wanting to fill herself up while growing big and strong to keep up with her older brothers. She lets them know when they have gone too far. Several things she really has at her advantage are her sharp little claws, the ability to get through and into tight places quickly where the others can’t, and a willingness to do things on her own. 😼
One similarity of all is that they do not get ruffled by their older siblings back again response which often sounds like a growl or hiss depending on whose toes, space, or beauty sleep each has stepped on, into, or interrupted. Each continues her or his mysterious mission – for just like us - they too have a reason they are here. Something they can teach us or the world around them when we are aware enough to hear.
If these kids were human, I would say they would have our smartphones figured out as they are that big into understanding how things work. And yet they also have that undeniably cute, lovable demeanor that is all kitten and needing a close and cozy spot for rest.
The Youngsters don’t realize their actions can create issues with their siblings especially if we get in the way as the newbies typically go beyond asking for attention, we just naturally gravitate to them, and they take what they are wanting sometimes by climbing us like we are their new favorite tree or by their sweet little meows as he or she states their needs.
Why do I say we get in the way? This is more with the older siblings or recently dethroned youngest who can feel the energy, visual and physical attention shift immediately to the new baby. However, we can change the resulting dynamic by making one key shift…address and offer physical touch to the oldest kid, then the middle kid and then connect with the baby. I know you are probably thinking it goes against your nature as we tend to engage differently.
This is like learning how to do business in different countries or cultures. In some, one starts with focus on the social and business comes later. Others begin with a ceremonial style meal, move into a social space of getting to know someone then onto business. While some want to forgo the pleasantries and social gathering to get down to business right away. As you can imagine, one style doesn’t work for everyone.
With animal families and packs, there often is an order too. Rarely is it the kitten, puppy, cub, or other baby who is addressed or eats first.
When we choose to do what is instinctive in the human world, we end up often creating the opposite effect with our animal family members. They can feel left out or alienated as all focus goes to a new baby or kid in the house. It is increased as food is different and smells often better than their own or routines shift to accommodate the new.
With that said, when bringing a new baby in you can create a better family dynamic by addressing the eldest (or alpha) animal kid, then the next kids in age before the newest addition. Even just a few minutes for each can foster a better environment and helps you nurture the relationships with those who were already in the household as well as the new kid - and you often eliminate or reduce any lashing out directly at the new kid by the others.
Join me next week when I share insights of my observations with witnessing the new middle and older kids.
