Getting to Know the Insecure
New experiences with the pet friends are always a unique endeavor. They rarely act the same way as when you or their parents see them and those that tend to be skittish around strangers or a bit insecure with new situations it can take time for them to warm up to the idea of someone new being in their space.
With every kid or elder, it can be various levels of connection and stages of interaction that begin the process of building trust and take us on a journey of creating a new relationship. With it is meeting them as they are whether willing to be seen out in the open, under a bed, or hidden in a closet or room that is the first level of opening the door. Learning how they respond – do they react by a hiss or bark, do they retreat away to put more space between us, do they put something between us like a swimming pool or enough space to create a gap, do they give you an insecure look? All of these are various levels of insecurities and can be a matter of background, their journey to this point, one experience that threw them off or made them uncomfortable, the addition of a new sibling, or even a major shift in the household that take their safety net away unexpectedly.
Yes, pets can walk through challenges in the manner they relate to others, learn to trust, or willingness to interact. There have been those are insecure that reach a point of being willing to connect during a first assignment of several visits and those who took more time to do so, often during the next assignment or with the help of a couple of interim connection visits with a parent present to help the individual working through building various levels of trust.
It is always exciting to see where they are and how far they have come when on the last visit of a vacation, I walk in to have one sitting waiting to greet me in the main room and lovingly brush up against me in a form of gratitude for my willingness to be patient with them allowing them to open up in their own way and time in relatively a short time span of under three days. Then to have another one who stayed mainly in one room under a bed go to laying atop another bed in another area and being okay with me walking in, doing some tasks, facing, and talking with them from a slight distance while they chose to face me and make eye contact. All of this shows steps forward in the areas of trust, respect, and creating a relationship.
With many it is shining a light for them to make their own choices, teaching them through non-verbals and words who we are which we do every minute we are with them, and provide an opening and opportunity for them to take steps to grow in their own way and time without judgment of what actions they took or how far it took them on their path.
