Holding Space: From Fearful to Friendly
With one nine-month-old pup, she had been with her new family about four months when the lockdown occurred. Just prior to the pandemic, she lost her new, older canine sister to illness – which meant for the first time she did not have an animal buddy to learn from as previously she had cat companions with a prior family. This was her third home in three months since being born. You could say she was having a very traumatic experience. She was unaware now of what was normal, what made the unfamiliar sounds, if the sounds were to be feared or not, why her people disappeared in the middle of the day, why she was kept in a room or what it meant for her family to go on vacation. She did not understand where they went, why I was showing up or would they return. Although I met her during the meet and greet, she still struggled and was extremely anxious.
My first visits with her she was in a state of fear racing to the far corners of the yard, anxiously snorting, retreating if I moved in any way to where she was or to see what she was doing and not wanting to return inside. I was able to take things slow, give her some space and speak softly to her. We took it one step at a time building trust at her pace. Our schedule was to be three visits a day. During my second visit, she was too afraid to come back inside as in essence she was going through a second fear state – everything in her mind was unsafe. She reacted very much like a feral cat or dog.
I stayed at the house with her the first night in the backyard to make sure she was okay and stayed safe. Crouching down as I made my way around the yard allowed her to be more at ease. I slowly arced myself closer as she moved towards the central part of the yard throughout the night. I continued interacting in a calm, gentle and present manner which she responded to by relaxing. By 7am, we had gained a lot of ground with her playing ball with me, letting me touch her and even racing inside until I attempted to close the door when it was time for me to leave. Unfortunately, she raced out once again.
I reached out to her family and it was decided that she could remain outside with me visiting her the three times a day while keeping food and water available out with her along with the shade of the enlarged covered patio to keep her cool in the late spring days. With that we began the process of rebuilding trust. She would start our next series of visits by laying across the yard from me keeping the pool between us initially for protection where she could watch me as I stayed on the patio. I played some instrumental frequency music for her during that time and when she was ready offered some distance Reiki. With this she began slowly moving closer towards me and relaxing more. The anxious snorting stopped as well.
During the first several days, observation was key as I began to see her jump at every bird or unknown noise that occurred. As she reacted, I would softly acknowledge the sounds and share with her what they were. Over the course of our time together she began looking to me for the explanation for everything from a hummingbird, dove on the wall, plane, helicopter, someone walking on the street and a squeaking chain of a swing set on the other side of a neighboring wall.
Each visit, I would tell her when her family would return by the number of sunrises. She had made amazing progress as we entered the last couple of visits. I decided one day to sit on the patio floor, and she laid within three feet of me napping for a bit even going as far as to sleep facing away from me for the first time letting me know she was feeling more at ease. She followed this by getting up and walking around me twice to share “I am coming around; I am feeling safer.”
On our last visit together, she came over laid down beside me asking for touch and companionship following this with wanting to play for the first time since our all-nighter. She had come a long way from her trauma reactions of our meet and greet to being at ease within the four and a half days. As a trusted pet sitter, the key to helping a pet step beyond his or her fear or limitations is providing a bridge built of love, respect, patience, and time for them to build trust at their own pace.
Her family recognized that the environment she needed was not a match for their post lockdown living. She needed a family that could dedicate lots of one-on-one time with her and lucky for her they found the perfect match. She goes everywhere with her new mom and lives on a farm with a horse friend.
