Special Moments
Nine years ago today, July 20, life changed. My world stood still as many things occurred at once in short proximity to one another. Some monumental and others in very different ways, but all felt big in the scheme of things. In February of 2013, I moved. At the end of June, my position was eliminated during a restructuring at the university and two weeks later I was given the gift of seeing my maternal grandmother in what would have been the middle of a work week, in the middle of the day. I say this was a gift as I saw her on a day when she was laughing and giggling. Three generations together with my mom there too. This was the first time in quite a while the energy felt light, and she was truly happy – I am immensely grateful I was given the opportunity to share that day with her.
Four days later, I returned home after meeting a friend at the gym. I walked into my kitchen when a visual appeared in my mind of my grandmother seated between my grandfather, her parents and with my uncles who all passed before her. I said aloud, it’s like a family reunion…the phone rang shortly after with the news of her passing. She was the last of the grandparent generation which I experienced all their physical deaths as well as my three uncles and several close colleagues since 1990. Her passing opened up a valve of hidden, stuffed away emotions that I did not know how to process previously with every time I got in my car to go somewhere or return the emotions flooded to the surface for release with the help of the car movement for a year.
In the remembering and recognizing it’s been nine years which is so hard to believe, I recall our happy and joy-filled moments together both before death knocked at our family’s door and after. Being her roommate/bedmate during any trips. We were each other’s companion on several occasions as we walked solo at through those events which brought a deeper level of connection with her beyond that of granddaughter. When you walk through life with someone as they experience the deaths of their husband and three of their seven sons, relationships and the energy around the moments take on a different meaning.
In nine years, a lot of life has occurred for me, my family, and my work life as well. Lots of lessons learned, experiences had, enjoyment felt, and sadness processed. Lemon was her favorite flavor – and earlier this month, lemon meringue pie was on a menu, a favorite of hers I remember now. I ordered it for the first time in my life – maybe she needed to taste it again.
(Picture: Three generations: My mom, grandmother, and me.)
