My Nervous System’s Response Part 2
Written By K Vizzini
This is part two of a blog I wrote last week about the identity fraud I walked into at the beginning of November. If you haven’t read it, check my website at www.kellyvizzini.com/Blog to look for Life’s Unexpected Test.
We often only hear about these types of situations from the company level through attempted or partial breaches via emails or new procedures and requests for password changes.
Rarely do we see or understand the personal perspective as often there is a fear of judgment, shame, or even a lack of compassion involved.
We often hear what someone would do if put in the place of xyz, yet that person hasn't been put to the test. The person who is generally lying low often had skin in the game as the result of an actual experience.
From a person who worked with computer software programs for many years, there was a comfort level associated and an IT department that handled situations of this type.
There was a learning curve, and, in my situation, it was dealing with someone where I could hear their voice, see some of their actions, and it occurred while I was in the safety and comfort of my own home.
In this circumstance, there is a feeling of being violated...a sense of peace and security removed and now the work to find support, healing and what action steps are truly required as we begin the journey to take back our power from the situation and regain our life and our sense of safety.
For me I was met with support from those who understood the process on a person-to-person level and offered suggestions or next steps to guide me forward.
I found it enlightening that for the first time I didn't look towards finding solace and solutions via electronic means and instead sought out real, live people for support and understanding.
And I walked through the anxiety, uncomfortableness, and apprehensions as I moved thru each in person meeting along with each phone call as well as wherever I was at where thoughts or the mental game could gain traction:
* Whether in joyful moments while hiking, connecting with family
or friends
* Whether exercising and taking care of my body.
* Whether sleeping and resting my body
* Whether taking the steps in person or online
* Whether just being or struggling to remain present in my home
My nervous system's role of keeping me safe would shift to the more unregulated or anxious in tandem with the thoughts.
In the event something like this or another situation that brings her or his nervous system out, know the response they have is going to be dependent on how their nervous system defines things.
It’s only been in the last week that I have learned more about it myself and the fact we do not control how our nervous system responds - nor what it defines as Safe or Unsafe.
Understanding this was a game changer for me as well as learning our role is in practicing the techniques that can help us shift out of the unregulated states back to centered and present which brings us to a state of emotional regulation. Let that sink in.
Our nervous system can randomly respond or react to a current situation, person, or place and deem it as unsafe based solely on some past experience.
Using this anxiety technique would move me out of those other states and return me to a centered and present regulated state:
The Protocol
In your present environment, name:
5 things you see
4 Things you hear
3 things you feel externally (air, heat, cold, the sun, etc)
2 things you feel internally (body sensations)
1 thing you smell or taste
Quick Regulators for Practice
Other tools I have since been introduced to and am practicing daily offer quick shifts to rebound to that present, grounded and centered place in our nervous system.
These are 30-90 second regulators for daily practice so that when your nervous system needs support moving up from faint, freeze, fawn/submit - or down from fawn/appease, flight or fight your body has something to pull from for your own self-healing.
* Orienting - is being in a place and glancing around to identify three
or four things that help you recognize you are centered and
present where you are
* Thymus Tapping - tapping on your thymus area just below your
collarbones and throat at the center of your upper body
* Humming - to yourself tones your nervous system
* Shaking - doing a full body shake
* Cold water - cupping cold water in your hands and splashing it on
your face
All or any of these done for 30-90 seconds can help you rebound to regulated state more quickly.
You can do what I have done and added these to my phone as clock alarms throughout the day as a way to get familiar with these and practice them. A special thanks to Kate Shipp who offered a recent class in the use of these regulators and understanding the nervous system more. As I have said in the past, timing is amazing!
My Journey Continues
Within a day, I quickly began having nightmares or anxiety induced vivid dreams that woke me up multiple times a night. I began using a panic or anxiety protocol I had learned several years ago to help shift out of these states along with journaling what I was feeling before bed and upon waking. This process was the only one I was aware of at the time and I was very grateful for it.
I used this protocol a lot while on my phone, my computer, while in my place, out hiking, in the middle of the night, anywhere anxiety arose and whenever I needed help rebounding to the present and connected state.
One thing about the nervous system is that it keeps you on your toes. From unsuspecting vivid dreams that awaken one in the middle of the night in unregulated states to the body’s response to a text message, a phone call or a letter coming through the mail.
It’s been a quite jarring experience between nonstop shaking to tuning in to the body to see what I am feeling...the extremes have been present while working through each new situation with the aid of these newly acquired techniques.
Know that you are not alone in this journey. There are tools, techniques, and steps to help you get from the start through the middle to whatever solution is needed.
Stay tuned for the conclusion of this 3-part blog series next week as we go over some of my steps to resolution and know that the nervous system regulators are still being practiced and utilized as I continue to move through the layers of rebuilding my life, use of electronics, and levels of safety.
